Birth Tip: Practicing Surrender

The spiritual work of birth is surrendering. It is also the practical work of birth.  To surrender to a contraction, is to receive it--to allow it to do what it is here to do.  

Contractions come as waves, starting mild, growing more intense, coming to peak intensity, and gradually receding back into rest.  In labor, we have an opportunity to surrender to each contraction and in doing so, the intensity decreases somewhat and we are able to work with our body rather than against it.  I like to teach my clients to do this by welcoming their contractions.  

I learned about “Welcoming your contractions” from a doula and childbirth educator named Kierra Blaser online when I was pregnant with my 2nd and it was sooo helpful!  It emphasizes the fact that contractions, though intense, are good!

A labor contraction is when your uterus contracts or squeezes to help bring your baby down and open you up.  They need to get stronger and stronger in order for you to birth your baby.  

So at the beginning of a contraction, while it is mild, that is the perfect opportunity to take a deep welcome breath, and receive the wave in all of its intensity, breathing naturally throughout, just like you would during a challenging hold, like a squat or plank.  

Give it up for the uterus: the most powerful organ in a human body!

Simple right?  But surrendering is a spiritual discipline.  It does not come naturally or without practice.  What we want is comfort.  This Easter weekend, I was reflecting on Jesus praying in the garden, knowing that his suffering was coming, praying for another way.  It touched me how He really was just like us in this, praying for an easier way–it’s only human, it’s only natural.  Not so with surrender.     

Thankfully (in this case at least) pregnancy lasts a long time, and so we have time to exercise this discipline.  One way I have my clients practically practice for surrendering to contractions is in breathing through a 1 minute wall sit squat.  The point is for it to be hard.  Remember, labor means hard work.  But it is the most amazingly fruitful work! 

And we can practice surrendering to the profound initiation that birth is.  What about going for a cold water plunge in the ocean as a ritual to embrace the new life that is coming for you as a mother?  I know from experience that this takes a great deal of surrendering of my comfort (I wear sweaters almost year round), but what an ecstatic aliveness you feel after that initial plunge-that symbolic baptism!   

And then there is the work of surrendering our fears and anxieties.  I am not saying these need to be totally eradicated, but they do need to be addressed and tended to.  This can be done with journaling, talking to a loved one (or doula!), working with a therapist, using somatic modalities, and in prayer.  There are some who may have a difficult or traumatic history that makes surrendering (be it mentally or physically) an acute struggle–birth reveals the deep connection between our body, mind, and spirit and we want them to be working in harmony. I would encourage anyone who is able to, to seek out therapeutic support to tend to those anxieties and possible wounds.  Tending to your healing is a beautiful gift to give to yourself and your child and growing family. 

Developing this discipline of surrender will serve you so well in the work of labor, but also in navigating the unexpected–(something years of witnessing birth has taught me we should expect).  Surrendering to the waves is taking them one at time–being in that present moment whether it be in the work of the contraction or in the delicious rest in between.  If an unexpected challenge of complication arises, you have the skills to take a deep breath, be in that present moment, and see what is needed.  I have witnessed clients navigate challenges so powerfully in this way--who took the time to do the deep work of preparing for birth, not just with education, but with prayerful surrender to God's will for them and their birth.

I have attached a PDF with some of my favorite affirmations for surrendering to contractions. I hope they will serve you well!

Contraction affirmations.pdf

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